On Dec. 14, 2011, Howard Bell was faced with a choice.
As a 47-year-old in a St. Louis hospital, he had just
learned 50 was a long shot.
An incurable neurological disorder, Amyotrophic Lateral
Sclerosis, would weaken his body over time and eventually take his
life.
Nor was the choice to gamely fight the disease: An
undersized ballplayer who grinded out a fine career by outworking
others, his forthcoming fight was a given.
But while many ALS victims — or others terminally ill
from any disease — become reclusive and cold, the Glendale High
School baseball coach chose to never lose his warmth, wit or message.
He had lived a good life, and was a very lucky man until
that unseasonably warm December day.
But Bell’s message remained positive. He wanted
everyone to know he was OK, right up until his passing Friday in his
Springfield home.
It’s only fitting that ALS is best known for it’s
most famous victim, New York Yankees slugger Lou Gehrig, who is best
known for his famous speech shortly after learning his ultimate fate.
“Today,
I consider myself, the luckiest man on the face of the Earth,”
Gehrig told fans on July 4, 1939, in Yankee Stadium. “And I
might’ve been given a bad break, but I’ve got an awful lot to
live for. Thank you.”
I could see Bell giving that same speech in the winter
of his life.
Howard was teaching and coaching until the end — like
Kickapoo girls’ basketball coach Stephanie Phillips, who died in
July 2010 after a three-year fight with cancer.
Bell’s players said he molded them not just on the
field, but into virtuous and tough young men off it.
During his fight with ALS — more than ever — he
showed them how.
I was lucky enough to be among his many visitors at the
house the past couple of years. I spent a half-dozen or so afternoons
with him, some of my favorites in my three years in the Ozarks.
I confess now that each time, a part of me did not want
to go. I worried this was the time where Howard would no longer be
Howard.
It’s hard to see a friend in pain, and worse when
their spirit is affected.
That was never the case, as I’d always leave warmed
and amazed at the strength and grace of Howard and his wife, Kim.
Howard always had a game on TV. He mostly wanted to talk
sports and thank friends and the community for recent showings of
support.
He would talk excitedly about the next trip his oldest
daughter Keshia was taking home from Las Vegas. Or, he’d relay
stories about the tough love his sarcastic youngest daughter,
Kameron, used to keep him in line.
I’d ask the tough questions at the end, but he was
always reassuring ... “It’s all positive” ... “I’m going to
be OK.”
I was at Bell’s house the day last spring when former
NFL star Junior Seau committed suicide.
The coach was empathetic. This despite the younger Seau
willingly giving his life, while Bell surely grappled with why his
was being taken away.
“You
never know what’s really going on in someone’s life,” Bell
said.
That’s Howard, the Glendale freshman health teacher.
He was always looking for the student who might be hurting, or needed
friendly support. He had a gift of making students, and everyone,
feel special.
During my visit with Howard last fall leading up to the
Missouri State and Drury baseball benefit, Howard and Kim had a gift
for me.
It was a promotional poster for the game, featuring a
picture of his faded Southwest Missouri State No. 1 jersey. Howard
had autographed the bottom of the poster.
That night, I hung it right next to my front door. Since
then, it’s been the last thing I see before leaving my apartment.
It’s a reminder that no matter what goes wrong, we
have to keep a positive attitude and remember the great things in our
lives.
Because as Howard Bell’s time grew shorter and his
heart grew warmer, he wasn’t just showing us how to act when our
time comes.
He chose to teach us how to live.
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